What it Feels Like for a Girl

Oh the things that we are blissfully unaware of until something bad happens to us. 

Did you know that in our city if you lose a baby past 12 weeks, you are not put under and given a D & C. You are given three options:

Option #1 ~ Let your body pass the baby naturally. This could mean that it will happen tomorrow or in a month. It also means that it will more than likely happen while you are at home with no pain medication.

Option #2 ~ Go in to the hospital where the miscarriage/labor will be induced. In this case there will be pain medication but it is still incredibly painful. This is also the option that feels most like actual labor and delivery including painful medically induced contractions

Option #3 ~ You go to a private abortion clinic where you will be incredibly drugged up while they perform a D & E with you awake. 

When we discovered that our baby did not have a heartbeat these were the options we were presented with. Those of you who know our story know that I had to be induced and deliver Oliver at 22 weeks. To say that the process was emotionally and physically painful is an understatement. I knew that I could not go through that again. It had been less than six months and I knew my body would have a tough time. I also knew that there was no way that I could wait for my body to deal with everything naturally. I have two other kids to love and care for and I could not imagine being on pins and needles waiting for it to happen. As odd as it sounds, for us the best option was #3. 

I have always been super liberal so it won't shock anyone when I tell you that I believe what a person does with their body and life is up to them. As long as it is not harming anyone else I do not see the issue.... that is not how I felt the day we went in for my D & E. I wanted to tell the other women in the waiting room that I would do anything to be able to have a healthy baby.... I think that is why Dave and I were put into a private room. 

The staff at the clinic was amazing and totally professional. They made me feel so much more comfortable.... that could also have been the mix of Ambien and other fine drugs.

We were only there a few hours and I was given some pretty incredible drugs. Dave could barely keep me awake long enough to get to the car. 

I feel like it was the right decision for us. I felt pretty good the next day and survived a lot of walking this past week in San Francisco. I am just ready to start healing. 

Mrs. E