One

Today my daughter turns one. She is no longer a baby. We have officially entered into toddlerhood and I cannot even begin to explain the rush of emotions that I am feeling.

I am scared, nervous, happy, sad, excited, and proud. I am proud of the fact that David and I have not killed each other in the past year. I am proud of the fact that we survived being the parents of a newborn. I am proud that I still have the most incredible bond with Syd, even though I am back at work. But most of all I am proud of what an amazing little person Sydney has become.

If you had asked me five years ago whether I thought I would be a mother to a one year old at this stage in my life, I would have told you that you were insane. I had grand plans to travel the world more than I already had and take interesting University classes for the next ten years. I would not have told you that I would have no problem changing diapers and kissing booboos. I would not have said that I would sit at work each day counting down the minutes until I got another drool filled kiss and snuggly hug. And I would not have told you that I would do absolutely anything to make that little face smile.

I love being a mom. It has become my entire world. My year long maternity leave was the most incredible year of my life. I got to learn who my daughter was and work on projects that interested me. I got to go to mommy and me classes and learn patience and understanding. I got to love like I have never loved before.

Sydney, when you arrived I could not be happier. People say that it is impossible to describe the how it feels to love your own child... I could not agree more. You fit into our lives seamlessly. As if you had always been there and did not belong anywhere else. You challenged us in ways we never thought possible and taught us what it means to feel truly responsible for the wellbeing of another individual. You brought more joy and laughter to our home and taught me how to appreciate the value of time spent with loved ones.

I will always love the way you smell and how your hair curls after a bath. I love the wrinkles on your toes and the extra rolls on your thighs. The way you cry because you are so excited to see me at the end of the day and the ear to ear grins as I lift you out of your crib when you wake up. You blow kisses as I leave and wave to everyone you see. You are truly becoming a little girl.

Today, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I have a husband I love dearly and a daughter I cannot get enough of and we are inseparable.

Here is to the next phase in our lives.

Mrs. E