Back to Work Anxiety

Well, I am back at work. 

Six weeks after Oliver's birth I am sitting at my desk trying to pretend that all of this feels completely normal. I will be honest, the routine is kind of nice but I am missing the kids and the safety of my home. I feel like I have been tossed out into the world now and it is not up to me how people will treat me, react to me or what they will say to me. I have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 

This is the part that I was so afraid of. I was afraid of trying to find normal after something so abnormal. I was terrified of being judged or receiving nothing but overly sympathetic looks. I was nervous about awkward interactions with people... about people asking me if we had our baby. It has all happened already and I haven't cried yet. I think I will get through this but or now I will try to push down some of my anxiety and enjoy my time with some of the best co-workers that a girl could ask for. 

Mrs. E