Sunday was Oliver's due date. It was his Birthday. This week I was supposed to be meeting him, holding him and bonding with him. Instead I spent the weekend looking at the box of memories I have from his birth and thinking of what it might have been like to have waited until now to meet him.
We have close friends and family who are welcoming their babies in the next couple of weeks.... one of them has already arrived. I will be honest, when David told me about the birth of this first baby I burst into uncontrollable ugly sobs. I cried thinking about how that should have been me and about how horrible it felt to have such mixed feelings about our friends having a new baby. I am happy for them and devastated for us at the same time. It's hard to explain.
I knew that I wanted to do something with the kids and David to remember that Oliver should have been with us this week. We had planned on releasing balloons for him on Sunday but I was hit with the mother of all colds on Thursday and spent all weekend in bed. I am hoping to find time this week to spend time with the kids to remember him and think of what he would have brought to our family. We have been having conversations with Sydney about why mommy is sad this week and she has asked several times to see the pictures of Oliver and all of his hospital momentos. We are doing the best to remember him this week. Give your kids and extra hug... I know I will.
Mrs. E
No comments:
Post a Comment