Friday, May 3, 2013

A Tough Day

I thought I had escaped the baby blues this time around... but apparently I hadn't.

Nine days in and the anxiety and tears have hit. It is not nearly as bad as it was with Sydney. When I had Syd, I was a mess. I was incredibly emotional for no reason and had intense anxiety leading into every evening. This morning I woke up feeling off. I was sad for no reason and I cry every time David asks me if I am ok.... He is being so understanding and supportive. I honestly think I would lose it without him. But I also think that is part of the problem. 

I have become so dependent on him and his help and support. I get nervous whenever I think of him returning to work and I panic at the thought of the first time he has to work a night shift and I am truly on my own. Tomorrow he is going to a track and field meet in Calgary to compete. He will only be gone for the day but it is the first day that I will be without him. I am scared. I was so upset tonight that he suggested I call for help. I called his sister and her husband and they are coming over tomorrow morning with breakfast to help out. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate this. 

This is the hardest part of having a baby. Nobody talks about it but most women go through it. You come off of such a high with the birth of your baby and then your hormones start to tank. Your body goes through an intense roller coaster of highs and lows and the potential for random meltdowns is huge. This is what scared me the most about having a second baby. 

I am really hoping to get over this fast. I want to ensure that I keep busy and try to create a routine. I need to tell David whenever there is something bothering me and I need to remember to appreciate these early days. I know that all of this will help. 

Mrs. E

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