Thursday, October 2, 2014

Oliver ~ The Exhausted Pin Cushion

September 18, 2014 ~

I am so tired.

I have been poked and tested all week and I can't even begin to explain how I am feeling physically. Aside from fighting a wicked cold, I have been in consult rooms, on ultrasound tables, on the phone with doctors and in bed for hours and hours this week. It has been a true test of patience and my ability to handle my emotions while gathering as much information as possible.

Today was our amniocentesis. I would be lying if I said that is only hurt a little. The pain when the needle entered my skin was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. It stung. I cramped. My eyes welled up. I could barely walk after.  The only thing that got me through today was knowing that we will learn so much more about our little baby from this test.

Over 60 percent of CDH babies are diagnosed with some type of genetic disorder as well as their physical problems. By doing the amnio we will be able to get a pretty good idea of what our baby is facing. It also helps us come up with a final prognosis.

I have been in bed all day sleeping and trying to ignore how much my belly hurts.  It is now 12:30am and David is sleeping beside me. I can't sleep tonight and it is frustrating.  I know that part of my insomnia is because I slept so much today but another part of it is that I just can't stop thinking.  I can't help but wonder what decision we will make once all of our results are in. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to hold our 22 week old baby. I can't help but wonder if this baby actually has a chance at life and what his or her quality of life might be like if they survive. I am tired of thinking and tired of tests.

Mrs. E

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