Thankful for Toddler Cuddles

We have had a rough parenting week this last week. Sydney has been incredibly sick and both David and I are seriously sleep deprived. I don't know if I have ever really been this exhausted. It all started on Thursday night when we were in Calgary with a high fever and a trip to the children's hospital. I will admit that by early Saturday morning I was getting frustrated with the lack of sleep and not knowing how to make Sydney feel better. 

Then we found out about Sandy Hook Elementary. 

I have never felt so emotionally invested in something that didn't directly effect me. I was shocked that an individual could commit such an unbelievably horrific crime. I was immediately brought to tears. I felt for those parents and the surviving children. David tried to tell me not to watch the news but I couldn't help it. I thought of how I would handle a situation like that, of how you move on after something like that and how it would forever impact that community and how we look at the safety of our children. 

I will admit, the first thought that went through my mind was that I would never let my kids out of my sight for the rest of my life. I know this is unreasonable, but as a parent all you ever want to do is protect your children from everything horrible in the world. You hope that when you send them to school they are safe and this weekends events have shattered that image for a lot of parents. I know that I will have to let our children go out into the world to learn and explore for themselves. The best you could do is a parent is let them go but always encourage them to make the right decisions and let them know that you are there to support them through every choice they make. Being a parent is scary. I struggle with trusting others and I know I need to let go. 

I realized fairly quickly that my feeling of frustration over having a sick child were ridiculous  Those parents would give anything to hold their child in their arms again and I had mine right there with me. Sydney and I spent the afternoon sleeping together, cuddled up in bed while her little sibling kicked from the inside. I knew in that moment that I was doing everything I could do as a parent. I was loving my children and protecting them the way I know best. 

My heart goes out to those effected by the horrible of events of this last weekend. I hope you find peace sometime soon. 

As for me... I am going to soak up every moment with those that I love this holiday season and I am going to enjoy every delicious cuddle from my sick little girl. 

Mrs. E