Some people may not know that a baby born after the loss of a previous baby is referred to as a Rainbow baby.... the rainbow after the storm.
I knew that this baby would be special... I just didn't know how special. When you suffer a loss like we did, you appreciate what you have so much more. After we lost Oliver, I hugged the kids more often and learned that every second that I have with them is precious. I stopped wishing away the younger, more difficult years and starting living more in the moment. I find that I am appreciating the small things with Hugh so much more than I did with the other kids. I find myself staring at him more, being more understanding of his cries and being less willing to put him down. I miss him while he sleeps and can't separate myself from him when he is awake.
Parenting a child after a loss also makes me a more cautious parent. I worry about him when he is sleeping and I am gentle with him. I can already tell I will have a harder time saying no and I will probably coddle him a little bit more.... but you know what, I'm ok with that. This is my selfish baby. He is my last and he was never meant to be here. He is here against all odds and after two losses. He is my Rainbow Baby.
Mrs. E
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